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You might be in a doubtful stage to know whether I had any love affair in my college days. Of course, as I had mentioned earlier, when I happened to see a boy who possessed the ideal characteristics of a youth in my mind, I got attracted towards him many times. I knew that it was because of the hormones oestrogen or progesterone in women. My ideal picture of a man was a dark coloured one because I was also dark in colour. Therefore, I didn't imagine any of the young men who belonged to rich families in my village as my partner because they were fair & also the awareness of my position in the society.
However, when I analyse my studies, I can see many contradictions. My main subject dealt with minute things. A substance is made up of molecules, a molecule is split into atoms, an atom can be split into electron, proton & neutron. Now it has been found out that there are many other minute particles inside the atom. When I was in school, rhis attracted me. But, when I got an opportunity to study it in detail, I couldn't learn it. Instead, the outer world, this Earth, moon, sun, the entire solar system, the milky way & the innumerable galaxies made me wonderstruck. I wanted to study about it in detail.
The fact that Neil Armstrong and Edwin Aldrin landed on the moon was always there in my mind. Each year, there would be an article in the newspaper, remembering the day of moonlanding. I would anxiously read it every year and that incident had a permanent impact in my mind. Then, the artificial satellites sent to Earth's orbit as well as to other planets - when I read about all these in the newspaper, I found that I was thrilled with incomparable pleasure. Similarly is the case with the comets and meteors.
Big bang - the theory which is approved by most of the scientists about the origin of universe - I thought about it many times. But, I couldn't believe it. One Saturday, when I & my brother were sitting in the rubber plantation, I asked him, "do you believe in big bang theory"? He said, "what was there before big bang? " It was our doubt. How did big bang occur ? What was there at the beginning ? We referred the Bible - "In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. The earth was without form and void, and darkness was over the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of of the waters" ( Genesis 1 : 1 - 2 ). Which is to be believed ? We were confused in this matter.
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