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At 05.00 a.m. in the morning, when I complete washing my face, I could hear a music from a Temple. At first, I would think, "is it from the Temple of Karikkode ?" "No". "It must be from the Temple of Vettikkal". It was a famous song sung by a famous singer, P. Leela. In Kerala, in most of the Temples, in the mornings this song was heard. When I heard a song, it's rhythm or tune attracted me even though I had not studied music. Therefore sometimes these songs would come to my mind. Then I would recite them. In fact I was not singing the lines but the rhythm and tune. Though I get up at 05.00 a.m. I couldn't get enough time to learn. After entering the kitchen I would make tea, then put rice into the ricepot and after that I would start to learn. But I could't continue my studies. Either I had to prepare jackfruit seeds or clean the courtyard. Then my mother would get up and come with a loud voice asking, "who burnt the fireplace ? Your mother - in - law will burn you if you do like this ." But I continued my hard work controlling my heart with all my pain.
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At 05.00 a.m. in the morning, when I complete washing my face, I could hear a music from a Temple. At first, I would think, "is it from the Temple of Karikkode ?" "No". "It must be from the Temple of Vettikkal". It was a famous song sung by a famous singer, P. Leela. In Kerala, in most of the Temples, in the mornings this song was heard. When I heard a song, it's rhythm or tune attracted me even though I had not studied music. Therefore sometimes these songs would come to my mind. Then I would recite them. In fact I was not singing the lines but the rhythm and tune. Though I get up at 05.00 a.m. I couldn't get enough time to learn. After entering the kitchen I would make tea, then put rice into the ricepot and after that I would start to learn. But I could't continue my studies. Either I had to prepare jackfruit seeds or clean the courtyard. Then my mother would get up and come with a loud voice asking, "who burnt the fireplace ? Your mother - in - law will burn you if you do like this ." But I continued my hard work controlling my heart with all my pain.
One evening, I was very tired, after returning from School. I felt that some serious disease had been occurred to me . Yet I drew water from the well and took my bath. At night, I went to bed. I prayed, "my Lord and my God, take my soul today. Forgive me for all my sins. I am ready to come with you to the heaven which you have promised to us". But nothing happened. The next morning I got up as usual and started my work slowly. When I went to toilet, I could see bloodstains. Then I decided in my mind that it was the sign of death. Why should I worry about death ? After death, I would be free from all my worries, troubles and fears. These were my daydreams. In the evening, after taking bath, my mother wouldn't allow me to wash the clothes because the newly worn dress would get dirty. Next morning, after all of us went to School, she would wah our clothes. While washing the undergarments , she would give more attention to it . Therefore, she must have understood it. When I returned from School, I could see her waiting for me in the front courtyard. When I entered the house, she came behind me. She looked at the back of my skirt. Thanks for my green skirt ! She had taken some old clothes and cut into pieces. She took one of the pieces and folded it so that I could wear it in the middle part of my body safely. I had no waist string. Therefore, a thick waist string with a piece of cloth was worn around the waist.
All this time, I was crying in my mind. "Oh ! this was those five days that mentioned in Vanitha magazine," I thought. I never used to read about it. I had already mentioned that there was no toilet in my house. All these situations made me angry. I roared like a lion, "why didn't you tell me about this? Why didn't you tell me that blood would come out from inside my body ? You don't tell this to anyone else, otherwise you will see my original face". "I am not going to say this to anyone", she said in a low voice. It was for the first time that she was speaking in a low voice. I wondered why I didn't know about this earlier. All the subjects I had learnt from Ist Std to VIIth Std were in vain.
One by one, I remembered the conversation of my classmates. When the Ist menstruation takes place, it would be informed to all other relatives and they would bring gifts to the girl. I had thought that it was an uncivilised practice and it was abolished in 20th century. But my friends told me that on that day their relatives would give them new dress or some other gifts. When I remembered it, I shivered with anger.
One by one, I remembered the conversation of my classmates. When the Ist menstruation takes place, it would be informed to all other relatives and they would bring gifts to the girl. I had thought that it was an uncivilised practice and it was abolished in 20th century. But my friends told me that on that day their relatives would give them new dress or some other gifts. When I remembered it, I shivered with anger.
The next morning, my mother told me to remove the cloth and wear a new one. The removed cloth had to be washed. I put it in the bucket and went to wash. My mother was there on the back verandah. When I first washed, she said, "you should not pour the water near the coconut tree but you can pour it where there are no trees. I wondered and asked,"why?" She said,"why are you asking questions, there would be no coconuts in the coconut tree if you do that". Quite unwillingly, I did so only once. But I didn't repeat it again.
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