page 3 ( 100 ) B Sc Final Year ends

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     The  end  of  B Sc  Final  Year  -  the  final  examination  was  approaching.   I  was  very  much  saddened  in  those  days.   Now,  I  am  writing  this  with  a  broken  heart.   When  I  reveal  the  marks  of  B  Sc  Chemistry,  my  friends,  colleagues,  neighbours and  even  my  fellow  citizens  will  be  shuddered and  I  am  sure  they  will  hate  me  forever.   My  status  in  the  society  will  be  lowered  all  of  a  sudden.   In  spite  of  all  these,  I  have  to  reveal  the  marks  because  it  is  a  reality.   Our  result  of  languages  viz.  English  &  Hindi, was  already  published.   For  English,  I  scored  160 / 300 ie. 53.33  %.  When  I  saw  the  result,  I  was  a  little  disappointed.   I  didn't  learn  English  textbooks during  the  study  leave  because  I  imagined  that  I  could  utilise  much  more  time  in  studying  my  Main  subject  and  Subsidiaries.   For  the  additional  language,  Hindi,  I  scored  175 / 300 ie. 58.33  % .  For  Hindi  also,  I  could  have  scored  higher  marks.  But,  I  studied  the  texts  on  the  previous  day  of  the  examination  only.   Then  comes  the  marks  of  my  Main subject,  Chemistry & subsidiaries , Physics  and  Mathematics.   My  hand  is  shivering  at  this  moment.   I  wonder  why  didn't  I  go  for  a  forest  -  dwelling  like  Raama in  the  epic,  Ramayana  ?  In  this,  in  a particular  situation,  Prince  Raama  had  to  leave  his  palace  and  go  to  the  forest.   His  wife  Seeta and  his  brother  Lakshmana  followed  him.   Before  going  to  forest,  he  talked  to Kaikeyi,  "Mother,  you  have  not , it  seems,  known  me.   I  value  no  pleasure  higher  than  to  honour  my  father's  pledge.   Let  Bharata  carry the  burden  of  kingship , and  look  after  our  aged  father.   It  will  indeed  give  me  the  greatest  joy ".  ( courtesy : -  Ramayana  translated to  English  by  C  Rajagopalachari  -  Chapter  XV  ) .  Here  it  is  -  514 / 1000.   Only  51.4  % !

     After  the  final  examinations,  I  was  very  much  worried.   I  calculated  my  marks.   I  understood  that there is  a  possibility  to  fail  in  the  examination.   Being  a  distinction  holder in  Std  X,  I  could  easily  analyse my  marks.   I  have  to explain  some  of  the  experiences  also  in this context.   Before  my  examinations, during  the study  leave, there  occurred  a  quarrel  between  my  mother  and  father.   My  father  took  a  knife  and  ran towards  my  mother  shouting  that   he   would  kill  her.   Usually,  I  & my  brother  wouldn't  interfere  in  such  disputes.   But,  at  that  moment,  I  became  afraid  and  ran  towards  them,  saying,  "no, father ".  My  brother  was  also  with  me,  I  think.   After  that  incident,  till  my examination  ended,  my  mother  lay  in  bed , as  a  patient.   So,  during  those  days, ( being  my study  leave ) , my  father  looked  at  me  angrily.   On  the  days  of  each  examination,  I  didn't  enter  the  kitchen.   I  wondered  how  could  I  write  the  examinations.   I think the  examinations  were  in  the  afternoons.  So,  I   went  to  college  in  the  morning  itself  taking  some  rice  in  my  tiffin box and a piece  of  omelet  he  prepared.   My  sister  was  ten years  old  then.   I  remember  my  father  helping  my  sister  to  climb  over  a  chair  near  the  fireplace  and  preparing  the  omelet  together.   Seeing  it,  I  couldn't  continue  in  my  house.   That  was  why  I  went  to  college  in the  morning.   At  noontime,  I  took  my  lunch  -  my  mind  was  filled  with  sorrow  -  and  attended  the  examination.   "Just  a  pass mark,  it  is  enough, " my  mind  murmured. 

     There  occurred  a  wonder  when  all  my  examinations  were  over.   My  mother  raised  from  the  bed.   She  started  walking,  speaking  loudly and  I  can't  describe  what  it  is  -  yes,  smartness  before  the  others.   I  & my  brother  wondered  to  see  this  change.   "Is she  possessed by  evil  spirit ?", I asked  my  brother.   I  again  asked  him, "or  is it  mental  abnormality ?".  I  watched  my  father  wonderfully who  didn't  ask  me  anything  about  the  examination.   What  was  my  brother's  reply  ?  I  don't  remember but  he  understood  everything,  I  am  sure.
     Here,  a  very  important  turning  point  occurs in  my  story.   This  blog  has  completed  One  Hundred  chapters and  ends  here.   But  the  story  continues.   In  the  Prologue,  I  have  mentioned  that  the  story  will  continue upto  the  1st  week  of  June  1999.   Therefore,  you  can  continue  reading  my  story in "The  Melancholic  Reminiscences  of  a  Woman  ( Part  2  ) ".