page 3 ( 77 ) Pre - degree Course

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     Selecting a College for Pre-degree Course , after the results of Std X - that was the most important turning point in my life.   Now,  when I look back,  I feel that I had made a mistake in selecting a college.   Our nearest College was St Peter's College,  Kolenchery.   Then there were Mar Thoma College for Women,  Perumbavoor & Nirmala College,  Muvattupuzha.   What is the use of keeping it as a surprise ?  I selected St Peter's College,  Kolenchery.   The College was under the same management of St Peter's English Medium High School Kadayiruppu,  St Peter's High School,  Kolenchery & MOSC Medical mission hospital, Kolenchery.   Many people talked about Mar Thoma College for Women,  Perumbavoor.   One day, kochechi was returning from her brother's house,  which situated in Perumbavoor.   When she walked through the road in front of our house,  she called out loudly, "Diya,  it is better to join Mar Thoma College for Women, Perumbavoor.   My brother's daughter is studying there.   She has high reputation about the college ".  

     My thoughts and beliefs were only that of a girl born and brought up in a rural area.   So, I thought like this : - "I have to rise up early in the morning, enter the kitchen and start the works.    Otherwise I can't attend college classes.   Therefore,  it is safe to select the nearest college".  In that particular circumstances,  as a fifteen years old girl,  I couldn't take another decision.   That was how I joined St Peter's College College, Kolenchery,  Ernakulam district, which is affiliated to Mahathma Gandhi University,  Kottayam.   I C - that was the name of my class.   Our main subjects were : - Physics,  Chemistry and Biology.   In languages,  English was compulsory.   The second language was optional . In our college,  Malayalam or Hindi could be taken.   Though my inner mind craved for Malayalam, I couldn't even tell it to my close friends or any of the students in the class.   When  listened to the lectures,  my mind wandered through my house and surroundings .  I saw myself preparing jackfruit seeds for making curry.   Sitting in the class,  I remembered the  evenings I had to bear horrible abusive words in my house.   

     In my home, I was a failure in doing homeworks.   Our Lecturers suggested some textbooks and I went through them.   I realised that I couldn't learn those text - cum - guides.  I missed the well - planned, systematic textbooks of Std I to X .  The educationists might find out many reasons : - 1) change in the medium of instruction  2) a love affair. You know that these two reasons are not applicable to me. Though the Medium of instruction in the college was English,  it was not a problem at all for me.  I found out the meanings of each word   from the dictionary and wrote the meaning over the word.    But I realised that I couldn't learn - where were the Teachers who taught me from Std I to Std X.    Then,  the 2nd one,  a love affair - how could I enter into such a relationship ?  The atmosphere in my family made me insane.   My sister joined Ist Std in the same year.   When compared to her,  I was a "grown - up woman".  While sitting in the classroom I remembered the abusive words I heard for preparing rice and a curry.   I remembered also the abusive words I had to hear in the evenings.