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In my classroom, I listened to the lectures with concentration. I knew more about force, mass, momentum, speed, velocity, Newton's laws of motion, heat, light, waves, gravity etc. I was realising more about structure of Atom, molecules and compounds, the Bohr model of Atom, the periodic table etc. I could understand that atoms join together to form molecules and they interact to form new products. In my class, I could understand Botany & Zoology. I had the basic knowledge of Biology. It is the study of life. The human body as a whole remained as a mystery before me. Each cell in human body is functioning every moment. Everything is moving. In short, everything in this universe is moving.
I understood everything in the classroom. But, after the class, I had to learn the lessons in my home. It was very difficult. When I became a college student, my mother's words became a little more sharpened. She asked my father why such a 'grown-up' girl spend her time looking into her textbooks instead of doing the household works. Some of my classmates who had joined with the women labourers
stared at me with surprise. So, I was afraid to take a textook in the presence of strangers. Even now, I wouldn't take a textook in my hand when there is a stranger in my house. When I was in school, the Teachers would cover the whole syllabus before the final examination. But, in my college, the Teachers were helpless. They didn't get enough working days to complete the syllabus & it had a high impact upon me. The ultimate result was that in the Class Tests, I failed.
The failure was a great fall from a certain height. I expected this failure and therefore, I didn't learn the language texts ( English & Hindi ) in detail. But, I scored above 60 % in these languages. My failure - it must have made a wound in my mind. The people in Kadayiruppu didn't know about this. They spoke against me, " that girl in the poor family is studying always without doing any work. How will she survive in this world ?" Then I didn't understand its meaning. But now I know that they wanted to see me as a woman - labourer.
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