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Never before had I been in a dilemma, after my Pre - Degree results. I decided that such a mistake should not happen in my life in future. Our well had not become dry till then. During those days, the last part of the well could be seen. First of all, I didn't know which subject to select. I thought in my mind - Physics ? Chemistry ? Botany ? or Zoology ? Truly speaking, I couldn't feel any aptitude towards these subjects. I wondered in my school days, how much interested was I to learn these subjects. At that time, choosing an Art subject was considered as inferior to science students. I found that all the top talented students selected Physics. There were Botany and Zoology which were considered as comparatively easy. But when I watched their record books, the difficulty in carrying them and draw different sketches on them, I was really afraid to choose those two subjects. Many poor girls were there in B.Sc. Botany and Zoology classes. I wondered how did their parents reacted to their studies. Then, I imagined myself choosing those subjects. Where should have I kept my record books ? My mother would get plenty of subjects to scold me.
Chemistry - it attracted me. Even if I choose Chemistry, there are some record book works but I felt that they are comparatively easy. Therefore, when I applied for B.Sc. ( Bachelor of Science ), I wrote Chemistry as my 1st choice. The 2nd & 3rd choices might be Botany & Zoology, but I don't remember. Then the next problem arose - which college I should select. There was a rumour that I scored low marks because I studied in St Peter's College, Kolenchery. Therefore, I decided to give applications in two more distant colleges. They were , Nirmala College, Muvattupuzha and St Xaviours College, Aluva. At the sametime, I had applied in St Peter's College, Kolenchery, also. If I get admission in distant colleges, I could apply for hostel accommodation. That was my aim. Otherwise, I would fail in this three year course. After filling the applications, my father himself went to the colleges to deliver the applications.
I wonderfully watched my father who climbed down the steps to go to the bus stop and then to the corresponding colleges. A stranger couldn't find any problem in his behaviour. But he can't provide a basic atmosphere for his daughter for her studies in his house. After that, he went to the college in Aluva two or three times to know whether the selected students' list was published or not. Then, the college officials said that it was not necessary to come and wait there. They would send an intimation card, instead. One day, he went to Nirmala College, Muvattupuzha and returned home. He said loudly that if I wanted to stay in hostel, it wouldn't be allowed. I couldn't ask the reason because he said it so loudly & authoritatively.
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