( 7 )
One day when I was listening to the Teacher, my notebook was left opened on the desk. Then, Chithra, who was sitting nearby, put something in my notebook. I anxiously glanced to see what it was - a peacock feather. I secretly enjoyed this because every child in Kerala in those times expected peacock feather from the day they joined school. 'A peacock feather is supposed to multiply on its own, by giving birth to little ones', was the belief from olden times. But we all knew that it was a superstition. From that day onwards, it rested in my notebook, for months, I remember.
In the intervals, the students involved in innumerous games. One of the main game of the girls was kallukali ( game with stones ). There were broken stones to repair the roads heaped in horizontal shapes, spreading on the sides of the roads. We, children would pick out the rounded ones from there and used them in this game. Five stones were necessary for that game. There were perfectionists in this game and as you can imagine I was the least performer.
Our classroom was separated from the other with a screen. Oneday, someone started throwing papers to the other class. Then, somebody threw it back from that class. Then a series of throws occured. When a paper came to me, I took it and gave it to another student. Pick and throw continued for a long time. The end of this activity made most of us cry endlessly - that was a scene worth to be recorded - I doubted whether they were pretending or not. I also cried but I could cry only upto a certain limit. Some girls tumbled down on the floor while crying. Hearing the news, students from the IVth Std came to our classroom. They were the Seniors in the school. They had some liberties and opinions over us. They picked out the most disabled students from our class and went to the Staffroom. I wondered - I wouldn't become part of it. I didn't know how to cry ! After the interval, the Teacher came to the class. He called the names of some of the pupils. Unfortunately, I also was included in it. He took the cane and gave three beatings to each of us ! I tried to speak to him but he didn't want to hear me. This incident aroused anger in my mind towards that Teacher. Everyone says that they have lots of love towards their Teachers. But at that particular situation, I felt full of hatred towards him.
One day, the Teacher spoke about a new topic - the government. It is very powerful, it does everything in our society and it can do anything to us , if possible. I heard all this but didn't understand. After reaching home, I asked my father, 'What is government ?' My father repeated the same thing. But I was not satisfied. 'Then show me the government', I became obstinate. I realised that my parents were in utter confusion. At last, my father said that almost every building I see in the Kadayiruppu junction are occupied by the government. "For eg., have you seen the Village Office ?", he asked. "Yes ", I answered. "That Office is government, you understand only upto this for the time being ", he said.
The light has been lit in my life.........................."
One day when I was listening to the Teacher, my notebook was left opened on the desk. Then, Chithra, who was sitting nearby, put something in my notebook. I anxiously glanced to see what it was - a peacock feather. I secretly enjoyed this because every child in Kerala in those times expected peacock feather from the day they joined school. 'A peacock feather is supposed to multiply on its own, by giving birth to little ones', was the belief from olden times. But we all knew that it was a superstition. From that day onwards, it rested in my notebook, for months, I remember.
In the intervals, the students involved in innumerous games. One of the main game of the girls was kallukali ( game with stones ). There were broken stones to repair the roads heaped in horizontal shapes, spreading on the sides of the roads. We, children would pick out the rounded ones from there and used them in this game. Five stones were necessary for that game. There were perfectionists in this game and as you can imagine I was the least performer.
Our classroom was separated from the other with a screen. Oneday, someone started throwing papers to the other class. Then, somebody threw it back from that class. Then a series of throws occured. When a paper came to me, I took it and gave it to another student. Pick and throw continued for a long time. The end of this activity made most of us cry endlessly - that was a scene worth to be recorded - I doubted whether they were pretending or not. I also cried but I could cry only upto a certain limit. Some girls tumbled down on the floor while crying. Hearing the news, students from the IVth Std came to our classroom. They were the Seniors in the school. They had some liberties and opinions over us. They picked out the most disabled students from our class and went to the Staffroom. I wondered - I wouldn't become part of it. I didn't know how to cry ! After the interval, the Teacher came to the class. He called the names of some of the pupils. Unfortunately, I also was included in it. He took the cane and gave three beatings to each of us ! I tried to speak to him but he didn't want to hear me. This incident aroused anger in my mind towards that Teacher. Everyone says that they have lots of love towards their Teachers. But at that particular situation, I felt full of hatred towards him.
One day, the Teacher spoke about a new topic - the government. It is very powerful, it does everything in our society and it can do anything to us , if possible. I heard all this but didn't understand. After reaching home, I asked my father, 'What is government ?' My father repeated the same thing. But I was not satisfied. 'Then show me the government', I became obstinate. I realised that my parents were in utter confusion. At last, my father said that almost every building I see in the Kadayiruppu junction are occupied by the government. "For eg., have you seen the Village Office ?", he asked. "Yes ", I answered. "That Office is government, you understand only upto this for the time being ", he said.
Next Sunday, I was returning after the Sunday School class at noontime. By that time, I had studied many routes to school without touching grandma's house. I would turn near the bridge over the canal and walking over the canal bund, reach the Kadayiruppu junction. Was it a city ? No. Some shops were there, the Village Office, the Post Office,two stationary shops,two tea shops and one stitching centre - almost everything was there. The Government Upper Primary School,Kadayiruppu,was situated there. After the IVth Std, I would come there to study and then it would be very easier for me to reach the school. When I reached near the Village Office, I looked at it, the doors were closed,the trees looked like very old and the walls reminded me the world of the dead. " Is it government ?" I was walking very fast through the road. I wouldn't run lest the others would realise that I was very afraid. Today, the people say that even small children know everything. But, for me, it is very difficult to understand that. It took much time for me to realise the idea of government. Perhaps,my intellectual level might have been that much low !
In the School Assembly, I listened to the girls who sang the prayer and the National Anthem, with curiosity. "How courageous they are", I thought. My father used to sing when he was sitting alone. Then I would come near him and ask him to repeat it and he would do so. He used to sing the hit Malayalam film songs and lullabies. Therefore, I knew many of the film songs and lullabies, by that time. But to sing them on the stage was impossible for me. My cousin Maji was not like me. She would sing everywhere,in School and also in Sunday School. Her sound resembled that of a cuckoo bird. She became part of the church choir also.
I have already mentioned that there was no electricity in my house. But in front of my house, when the steps ended, in the main road, there was a streetlight. In the evening, when the streetlight was lit up, I would become filled with happiness. Standing in front verandha, looking at the streetlight, I would sing, imitating a Malayalam film song :-
"The flower has been bloomed in my courtyardThe light has been lit in my life.........................."
Innumerable jasmine flowers would be there blossoming, spreading fragrance everywhere.
